About ElatedEarthling : "Happiness exists on earth, and it is won through prudent exercise of reason, knowledge of the harmony of the universe, and constant practice of generosity." -Jose Marti
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Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13747) - you deserved it (25082)
On 04/05/2011 at 1:10am - work - by 4themoneh - United States (California)
Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (2194)
On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (2280)
On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (2707)
On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8546) - you deserved it (16952)
On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15120) - you deserved it (8379)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my best friend had set me up on a blind date. The guy demonstrated at length that he could do different cartoon voices such as Donald Duck, Droopy and many others the entire time. Oh, and he also kept wanting to talk about his farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18984) - you deserved it (2275)
On 02/21/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Court - United States (Ohio)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4400) - you deserved it (34502)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6114) - you deserved it (26482)
On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (4169)
On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (3502)
On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33970) - you deserved it (5603)
On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2590)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (5562)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (1431)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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