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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (6901)
On 05/28/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by tb351 - United States
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62558) - you deserved it (4543)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11114) - you deserved it (37833)
On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15871) - you deserved it (27899)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91677) - you deserved it (9484)
On 08/29/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by soldierboy - United States
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (3044)
On 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm - animals - by buttpicker - United States
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15988) - you deserved it (8165)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9200) - you deserved it (17251)
On 02/26/2010 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by hannah12345 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I learned there is a taste difference between grabbing a glass of milk that has been sitting on your night table for a week and the one you put on there 3 minutes before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4466) - you deserved it (41436)
On 10/29/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by GlassJAwkidE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (1535)
On 10/18/2009 at 5:28am - health - by nimrod23 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57779) - you deserved it (16751)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I found some oversized-strawberry-spree candies in my pantry. They were delicious and I munched on them through out the day. I ended up in and out, but mostly in, the bathroom in the dead hours of the night experiencing the wonders and effectiveness of Fruit Flavored Fiber pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10140) - you deserved it (32426)
On 05/28/2009 at 3:14am - health - by KKimrae_ness (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (382548) - you deserved it (21611)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (277073) - you deserved it (23330)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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