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Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (22189)
On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18650) - you deserved it (3828)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4724) - you deserved it (33215)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18867) - you deserved it (10827)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (2003)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2210)
On 06/21/2012 at 4:28pm - misc - by tubby (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (4285)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17098) - you deserved it (9080)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21993) - you deserved it (1105)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:13pm - misc - by somebody - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (2983)
On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (3291)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13386) - you deserved it (2883)
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18083) - you deserved it (3503)
On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm - love - by Monsieur-Madame (man) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (1686)
On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia
Monday 20 May 2013
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