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Eggtart

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Eggtart
  • Town/Country : Belfast, UK
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3197
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Eggtart's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (1457)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4233) - you deserved it (22591)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4194) - you deserved it (24905)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8843) - you deserved it (31186)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (2352)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15883) - you deserved it (1399)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22633) - you deserved it (1280)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (3662)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6189) - you deserved it (14945)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (2374)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (22191)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (3827)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4722) - you deserved it (33208)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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