About Dynosaur_dollie : I'm a dinosaur and I go rawr! My name is Dyno, I stomp on houses, eat small children and play dinosaur games all day.
Dynosaur_dollie's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Picture this FML
You have left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
Dynosaur_dollie's favorite FMLs
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
by ColoredPencil13 / 05/10/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by gerontofuck / 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/26/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.…