About Dweeble : Name's Julian. Love to run, eat, read, listen to music.
Things to know about FML: Don't post about your weather or else everyone will try to be hot-shit and complain about theirs, Never ever post about cigarettes or you'll be downvoted to oblivion...Noor is hilarious.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (54911)
On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77176) - you deserved it (7551)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (189408) - you deserved it (21123)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (143616) - you deserved it (25701)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462144) - you deserved it (574086)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185262) - you deserved it (21614)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33741) - you deserved it (9800)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)
Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (20332)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AppState (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45970) - you deserved it (2630)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (7480)
On 02/02/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by houdini - United States (California)
Today, my "don't ever touch me" cat jumped next to me acting as if she wanted to be petted. In fact, she jumped next to me to share her nasty fart. I need a new kitty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13116) - you deserved it (3253)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)
Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15066) - you deserved it (2442)
On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7733) - you deserved it (36510)
On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)
Monday 20 May 2013
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