About Dweeble : Name's Julian. Love to run, eat, read, listen to music.
Things to know about FML: Don't post about your weather or else everyone will try to be hot-shit and complain about theirs, Never ever post about cigarettes or you'll be downvoted to oblivion...Noor is hilarious.
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54760) - you deserved it (6505)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32477) - you deserved it (5215)
On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55916) - you deserved it (2952)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14421) - you deserved it (37353)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47876) - you deserved it (21890)
On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51880) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33394) - you deserved it (14660)
On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (178028) - you deserved it (25398)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54000) - you deserved it (3000)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59570) - you deserved it (5648)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31300) - you deserved it (49265)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
I agree, your life sucks (56174) - you deserved it (2619)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11907) - you deserved it (57010)
On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50544) - you deserved it (2255)
On 04/17/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (121746) - you deserved it (8224)
On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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