Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Dweeble

Search for a member

Dweeble
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 May 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 595
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Dweeble : Name's Julian. Love to run, eat, read, listen to music.
Things to know about FML: Don't post about your weather or else everyone will try to be hot-shit and complain about theirs, Never ever post about cigarettes or you'll be downvoted to oblivion...Noor is hilarious.

Dweeble's last visitors

sarah_grace_babyoj101BrookieAnnbotanistjessicaDerrickJamesydi_4_sukingMahtari

Dweeble's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Dweeble's badges

Dweeble's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19710) - you deserved it (39515)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37937) - you deserved it (5083)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (5341)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (3729)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (24915)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (7146)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5552) - you deserved it (83856)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

#14811207
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (3421)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:11pm - love - by straightasaneedle (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (5074) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

#14533533
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (3390)

On 01/10/2011 at 2:14pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

#14014321
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (3400)

On 11/28/2010 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34395) - you deserved it (10991)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

#13812395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (9480)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:06am - love - by sayno (woman) - Switzerland

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6121) - you deserved it (15971)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (3587)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: