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Dweeble

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Dweeble
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 May 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1108
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Dweeble : Name's Julian. Love to run, eat, read, listen to music.
Things to know about FML: Don't post about your weather or else everyone will try to be hot-shit and complain about theirs, Never ever post about cigarettes or you'll be downvoted to oblivion...Noor is hilarious.

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Dweeble's favorite FMLs

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (39129)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I came out of the closet. I came out on Facebook to spare myself awkward conversations and gossip. I wrote a deeply meaningful status about my partner and my pride in who I was. The only responses were, "Lol", "Hacked", and similar remarks. FML

#19719368
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25533) - you deserved it (10630)

On 06/02/2012 at 2:50am - misc - by OutOfTheCloset - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14339) - you deserved it (2612)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML

#19697677
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18128) - you deserved it (1769)

On 05/29/2012 at 3:54am - health - by sopheeah - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking up some stairs, and I told the guy in front of me to be careful, as the handrail was loose and well-worn. I then put my hand on it, and promptly fell backwards down the stairs with a piece of handrail still in my hand. FML

#19651744
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15590) - you deserved it (5372)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by taob (woman) - China (Guangxi)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18327) - you deserved it (7523)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (1266)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (2059) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (2059) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (1718)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (7433)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17601) - you deserved it (1848)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16772) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

#19519043
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (25404)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by hjkashld (man) - United States



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