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Dweeble

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Dweeble
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 May 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1113
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Dweeble : Name's Julian. Love to run, eat, read, listen to music.
Things to know about FML: Don't post about your weather or else everyone will try to be hot-shit and complain about theirs, Never ever post about cigarettes or you'll be downvoted to oblivion...Noor is hilarious.

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Dweeble's favorite FMLs

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15278) - you deserved it (7415)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

#20187008
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (4270)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23489) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (3852)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57092) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22063) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

#20053776
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22560) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:44am - love - by rotezora (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (6003)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28680) - you deserved it (7054)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (3718)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (6714)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML



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