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Dweeble

Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 7:42pm) | Search for a member

Dweeble

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1870
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Dweeble : Name's Julian. Love to run, eat, read, listen to music.
Things to know about FML: Don't post about your weather or else everyone will try to be hot-shit and complain about theirs, Never ever post about cigarettes or you'll be downvoted to oblivion...Noor is hilarious.

Dweeble's page activity

Visits<b>katydid91</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 3:51am<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:05pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 2:57pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 7:24pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:27pm<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 10:45pm<b>janujc</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 2:55pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:24pm<b>dontpanic</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 6:36am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 8:03pm<b>sarah_grace_baby</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 7:09am<b>oj101</b> - the 03/07/2013 at 7:00am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 11:53pm<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 11:28pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:10am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Mahtari</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 4:21am

Dweeble's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Dweeble's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (9160)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38880) - you deserved it (24018)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (51345)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46548) - you deserved it (8150)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

#21197297
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48678) - you deserved it (4142)

On 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46188) - you deserved it (4649)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59820) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46055) - you deserved it (8305)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46713) - you deserved it (12174)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52041) - you deserved it (16836)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43888) - you deserved it (3992)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)



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