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Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45318) - you deserved it (3471)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (2705)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (5300) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29940) - you deserved it (2762)
On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (1982)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (2498)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24912) - you deserved it (3859)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (4459)
On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38219) - you deserved it (2970)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (2014)
On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (1942)
On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36841) - you deserved it (8095)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (6013)
On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (17371)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (4404)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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