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Dub_Luv

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Dub_Luv
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  • Number of visits : 850
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dub_Luv's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

#20460703
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41019) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41266) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (5684)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31918) - you deserved it (2617)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

#20456974
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33763) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by Mary - Czech Republic

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (7702)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you deserved it (2934)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (7918)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34642) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27741) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (6146)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33625) - you deserved it (6686)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (8290)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42769) - you deserved it (5705)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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