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Dub_Luv's favorite FMLs
by nohobo / 03/09/2015 at 5:22pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous
by generic_name123 / 03/09/2015 at 9:55am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 8:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm / United States / Work
Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML
by no salt, no burning, just STFU / 03/08/2015 at 10:41am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML
by greatly disturbed / 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 11:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, I watched in horror from the doorway as my brother furiously scratched at his greasy hair and ate the large flakes of dead skin that came loose from his scalp. I think our real dad might be caged in a zoo somewhere. FML
by GROSS / 03/07/2015 at 10:58am / Bangladesh / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:26pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2015 at 12:42pm / Work
Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML
by foreveralone / 02/17/2015 at 10:48am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…