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Dub_Luv's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/19/2015 at 1:01am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 11:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
by non-baker / 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML
by ilovecharliesheen / 03/17/2015 at 3:14am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML
by Boss Troubles / 03/17/2015 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML
by manderpander21 / 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Health
by redneckpunk / 03/16/2015 at 3:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by not a jesse pinkman joke / 03/16/2015 at 1:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. The first thing he did was hand me a paper containing listed rules he expects me to follow. When I asked if it was a joke, he promptly pointed to number 7 on the list, "Cleanliness is not a joke". FML
by mukduk / 03/16/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by jfields2474 / 03/16/2015 at 12:37am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (West Virginia) / Health
Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- Today, my friend was killed in a motorcycle accident, my boyfriend broke his foot, and I flunked a… Today, I went on a therapy site. I told the listener my problems, and they shamed me for 'trolling'… Today, I had to get out of bed at 2am to go tell my parrot to stop playing with his bell. I covered…
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…