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Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53592) - you deserved it (3456)
On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60732) - you deserved it (4807)
On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50082) - you deserved it (13593)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25999) - you deserved it (39913)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61917) - you deserved it (2918)
On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States
Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (44002)
On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43270) - you deserved it (4875)
On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47481) - you deserved it (3440)
On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States
Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (6287)
On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50363) - you deserved it (8922)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (3562)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (8751)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML
I agree, your life sucks (59091) - you deserved it (3293)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63483) - you deserved it (3886)
On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49523) - you deserved it (13442)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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