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Dr_Jalepenos

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Dr_Jalepenos

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  • Number of visits : 684
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dr_Jalepenos's page activity

Visits<b>GoatInABag</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:38pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:55pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:35am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:33am

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Dr_Jalepenos's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (26268)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12367) - you deserved it (32541)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

#18679153
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5828) - you deserved it (44241)

On 01/01/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Leigha - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (9621)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39987) - you deserved it (9437)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

#18045518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (5966)

On 10/22/2011 at 11:32am - misc - by Hair Fail - United States (Ohio)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (11806)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40537) - you deserved it (27746)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (9413)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (9413)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (32146)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39348) - you deserved it (4224)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6408) - you deserved it (56418)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (32146)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9084) - you deserved it (54347)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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