Dr_Jalepenos

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Dr_Jalepenos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1094
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dr_Jalepenos's page activity

Visits<b>filterless</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 4:49am<b>WFantasy</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 7:59am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 2:05pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:04pm<b>GoatInABag</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:38pm<b>smallzz993</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 4:55pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:35am<b>Snackycake</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:33am

Dr_Jalepenos's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Dr_Jalepenos's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

by student414 / 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Geek

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I found out that if you see a tray with some black stuff in it and you can't decide whether it's powdered black pepper or cigarette ashes, it's not a good idea to taste it. FML

by Leigha / 01/01/2012 at 9:14pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George) / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

by pops up / 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

by Hair Fail / 10/22/2011 at 11:32am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

by BigMoney / 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

by sadsadperson / 09/07/2011 at 4:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

by bitchyskier / 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

by terrible kenny / 01/30/2011 at 4:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous