About DoubleCross : Go Celtics. My name is Patrick. I ball
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11965) - you deserved it (28976)
On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (1482)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7661) - you deserved it (28490)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (3454)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (3454)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (2094)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17409) - you deserved it (1954)
On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (4160)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (6240)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (1233)
On 04/22/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by jack - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (1906)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17937) - you deserved it (1909)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17937) - you deserved it (1909)
On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23371) - you deserved it (6217)
On 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm - money - by kirsty - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25104) - you deserved it (5675)
On 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm - animals - by dcort - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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