Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DoubleCross

Search for a member

DoubleCross

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1720
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DoubleCross : Go Celtics. My name is Patrick. I ball

DoubleCross's page activity

Visits<b>loveabbierose</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:08pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:53am<b>HannahMarie3210</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:08pm<b>foe1</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>UnitarySaucer</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:20pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:49pm<b>CherryPresident</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:04am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:27pm<b>bbycks304</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 9:07pm<b>hstorms11</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 1:20pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 10:24pm<b>greeneye</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 12:18pm<b>speaker4thedead</b> - the 06/27/2012 at 12:43pm<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 6:59am<b>takenover</b> - the 02/14/2012 at 4:01am

DoubleCross's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of DoubleCross's badges

DoubleCross's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (5341)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (2582)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (1486)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23067) - you deserved it (2164)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (5503)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (1646)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27375) - you deserved it (4720)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (1983)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (4653)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (12240)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (5672)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (16348)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6412) - you deserved it (46607)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (3378)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: