DoubleCross

Search for a member

DoubleCross

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5206
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DoubleCross : Go Celtics. My name is Patrick. I ball

DoubleCross's page activity

Visits<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>loveabbierose</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:08pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:53am<b>HannahMarie3210</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:08pm<b>foe1</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>UnitarySaucer</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:20pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:49pm<b>CherryPresident</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:04am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:27pm<b>bbycks304</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 9:07pm<b>hstorms11</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 1:20pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 10:24pm<b>greeneye</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 12:18pm<b>speaker4thedead</b> - the 06/27/2012 at 12:43pm<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 6:59am<b>takenover</b> - the 02/14/2012 at 4:01am

DoubleCross's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of DoubleCross's badges

DoubleCross's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

by murp / 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm / United States / Animals

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

by highschoolsucks / 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm / United States / Work

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love