DoubleCross

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DoubleCross

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4848
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DoubleCross : Go Celtics. My name is Patrick. I ball

DoubleCross's page activity

Visits<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:19pm<b>loveabbierose</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 6:08pm<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:53am<b>HannahMarie3210</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:08pm<b>foe1</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:05pm<b>UnitarySaucer</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 1:20pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:49pm<b>CherryPresident</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:04am<b>cheshiro</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:27pm<b>bbycks304</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 9:07pm<b>hstorms11</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 1:20pm<b>perdix</b> - the 10/29/2012 at 10:24pm<b>greeneye</b> - the 07/18/2012 at 12:18pm<b>speaker4thedead</b> - the 06/27/2012 at 12:43pm<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 6:59am<b>takenover</b> - the 02/14/2012 at 4:01am

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DoubleCross's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML

by daniel55 / 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

by Thai rice mistake / 02/12/2013 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

by VMV / 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

by VMV / 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

by blank / 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Transportation