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Doortje

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 5:38pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 19974
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>Neut</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 2:01pm<b>kaliande</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:44am<b>uTitta</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 1:57pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:00pm<b>surranger</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:14am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:09am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:01pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:41am<b>peanuty001</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:37pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm<b>fudgeeocookies</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Kinky_Traceur</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:33am<b>ChaoticFoxen</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:45am<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:50am<b>notzax</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:16pm

Liked!<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:30pm

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33722) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52305) - you deserved it (3854)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

#14128244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30770) - you deserved it (3532)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by ooblie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36005) - you deserved it (5333)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70922) - you deserved it (4964)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML

#13990251
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17574) - you deserved it (48513)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML

#13923340
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15712) - you deserved it (53058)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

#13879750
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30676) - you deserved it (7942)

On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40175) - you deserved it (12321)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25301) - you deserved it (5274)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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