About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (37206)
On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (3401)
On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12285) - you deserved it (40519)
On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24577) - you deserved it (6193)
On 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34329) - you deserved it (10975)
On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47317) - you deserved it (6501)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (3966)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50028) - you deserved it (2523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50028) - you deserved it (2523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (13598)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (3029)
On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (23063)
On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49149) - you deserved it (9960)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (2386)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6151) - you deserved it (37801)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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