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Doortje

Offline (the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18478
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>KapralCat</b> - yesterday at 7:22am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - yesterday at 7:25pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:30am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:04am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:29pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:31pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:18pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:45am<b>SheTheOtaku</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:28am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:37am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:52am<b>epic174</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:45am<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:04am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:02pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:04pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:46am<b>fayeaurora</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:29pm

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11623) - you deserved it (18086)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34307) - you deserved it (5004)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

#14393948
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35114) - you deserved it (5515)

On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

#14326662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (6911)

On 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by snoozerlooser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (8705)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (6409)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (6409)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

#14261370
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (6409)

On 12/19/2010 at 3:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33742) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (20504)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112523) - you deserved it (15239)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (9879)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98849) - you deserved it (5406)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

#14183645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (1987)

On 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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