Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Doortje

Search for a member

Doortje
  • Town/Country : Tilburg, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 15841
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's last visitors

Walshey93deathpotatothelittlemissyCrikOgresmasherroberto12749zeriously95sickkidsrockRizzen

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23962) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (4154)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (2255)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

#14948054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (4179)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32340) - you deserved it (2840)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14178) - you deserved it (51429)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML

#14856386
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27757) - you deserved it (5098)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67079) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14963) - you deserved it (44135)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (8129)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (16826)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10482) - you deserved it (16826)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

#14404021
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (4723)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: