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Doortje

Offline (the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19026
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:41am<b>peanuty001</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:37pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm<b>fudgeeocookies</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Kinky_Traceur</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:33am<b>ChaoticFoxen</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:45am<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:50am<b>notzax</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:16pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:29pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:53pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:33pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:17am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Britney_Rushton</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:04am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:29pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 8:36am

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (8751)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (8751)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

#15069321
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (3262)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37739) - you deserved it (4429)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

#14962241
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (2353)

On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

#14948054
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33157) - you deserved it (4539)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35343) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15162) - you deserved it (53336)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML

#14856386
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (6405)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69741) - you deserved it (6565)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17591) - you deserved it (49390)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (3043)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, I found out my boyfriend is only with me because he's in love with my sister, who turned him down repeatedly, and I'm the closest he can now get. FML

#14542249
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31205) - you deserved it (3043)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Username -

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49085) - you deserved it (8433)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11641) - you deserved it (18101)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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