About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (2977)
On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (3024)
On 02/27/2011 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47284) - you deserved it (4224)
On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (4377)
On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8925) - you deserved it (23452)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26051) - you deserved it (12806)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17851) - you deserved it (36560)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (8234)
On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (8234)
On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38389) - you deserved it (8234)
On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20280) - you deserved it (2519)
On 02/21/2011 at 8:21pm - money - by MBC - United States
Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (3473)
On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22218) - you deserved it (1805)
On 02/13/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (3553)
On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2740)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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