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Doortje

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Doortje
  • Town/Country : Tilburg, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 15883
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's last visitors

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Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (3560)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

#16868516
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you deserved it (8909)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (15283)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (7868)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49531) - you deserved it (16933)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52238) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12519) - you deserved it (62222)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

#16213950
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (14362)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (16719)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30404) - you deserved it (3430)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (7403)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (7403)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47285) - you deserved it (8895)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (9292)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (116777)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia



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