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Doortje

Offline (the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17554
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>awesomeamandas</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:09am<b>Hassan79134</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 8:11pm<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 5:46pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:24am<b>CaptFappingtons</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:25pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 5:34pm<b>SillehKat</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:05am<b>klassicalkelly</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:28am<b>persayous13</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 10:09pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Tvw</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Barack_Brobama</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 4:24pm<b>sam1507</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 6:39am<b>superrocket19</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:43am<b>alliane</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:47pm<b>PePziNL</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:26am

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (6376)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (16215)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34743) - you deserved it (4784)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went on a third date with this guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

#16868516
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (9487)

On 06/26/2011 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38706) - you deserved it (15588)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40964) - you deserved it (8192)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51707) - you deserved it (17566)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59087) - you deserved it (10069)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12987) - you deserved it (63471)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was making out with this guy that I like. In an attempt to be romantic, he tried to pick me up and press me against the wall. He couldn't lift me off the ground. FML

#16213950
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (14650)

On 05/16/2011 at 10:12pm - love - by Fatty (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41309) - you deserved it (17424)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33898) - you deserved it (7758)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33898) - you deserved it (7758)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48878) - you deserved it (9063)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



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