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Doortje

Offline (the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18052
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>KagamineRinny</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:02pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:04pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:46am<b>fayeaurora</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:29pm<b>KapralCat</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:51am<b>Smiley_70</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:26am<b>mimibear10</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:56pm<b>bopersonn</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:58am<b>dusthar</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:53pm<b>LovelyMia</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:24am<b>maria95aa</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 8:50pm<b>kittykat8770</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Jazoo1</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 8:11am<b>varutha</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:51am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:26pm<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:09am

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42824) - you deserved it (4363)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (8125)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (8071)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (6079)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

#17751753
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35736) - you deserved it (5391)

On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (11469)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85172) - you deserved it (13065)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48040) - you deserved it (7810)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (4245)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (88415)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48482) - you deserved it (14378)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (3539)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73571) - you deserved it (7676)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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