Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Doortje

Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 12:29am) | Search for a member

Doortje

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 26873
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>Salvanoi</b> - yesterday at 1:03am<b>PHP</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:53pm<b>jaala123</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:43am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:10pm<b>IcedSapphire</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:03pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:53am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:26pm<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 11:23pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 9:45pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:12am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:30am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:21am<b>Rainbowkupkake</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 11:09pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:42am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 9:45pm<b>uglykitty</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 5:09pm<b>GeorgiaBea</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 5:15pm<b>killerkirsche</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 6:21pm

Fucked!<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:23am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:22am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:48pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05am<b>Zebracat</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>16sparklytrees</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:24pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:06pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 4:52am<b>taffyluvr226</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:43pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:09pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:55am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:01am<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 9:42am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:30pm

Doortje's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (56995)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (305564)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33151) - you deserved it (305564)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29925) - you deserved it (101129)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (89628)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14503) - you deserved it (72752)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67138) - you deserved it (6957)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
799 comments

I agree, your life sucks (830198) - you deserved it (91064)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (258280) - you deserved it (88106)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you deserved it (77579)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: