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Doortje

Offline (the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18528
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>_Peppermint_</b> - yesterday at 1:57pm<b>Hassan79134</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:33pm<b>KapralCat</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:22am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:25pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:30am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:04am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:29pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:31pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:18pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:45am<b>SheTheOtaku</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:28am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:37am<b>Victormoon</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:52am<b>epic174</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:45am<b>abbythemuffin</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:04am<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:02pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:04pm

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29914) - you deserved it (4105)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (4236)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36468) - you deserved it (4236)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (6547)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

#18725353
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35153) - you deserved it (4247)

On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30479) - you deserved it (4062) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23154) - you deserved it (21392)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

#18109383
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32621) - you deserved it (8764)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (32385)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (46037) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (33619)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9946) - you deserved it (58988)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

#17910918
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (4817)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (11531)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12531) - you deserved it (75572)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)



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