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Doortje

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Doortje
  • Town/Country : Tilburg, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 15816
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's last visitors

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Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

#12802001
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27675) - you deserved it (1923)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML

#12797931
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16119) - you deserved it (24144)

On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (11945)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (6602)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (46062)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15282) - you deserved it (44846)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6266) - you deserved it (27264)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (33667)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28766) - you deserved it (3496)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3217) - you deserved it (64291)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (30638)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (3734)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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