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Doortje

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Doortje
  • Town/Country : Tilburg, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 15861
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's last visitors

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Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41460) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

#13235647
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (4095)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (38234)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

#13192437
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (38234)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (26804)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML

#13006251
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19515) - you deserved it (1565)

On 09/11/2010 at 4:46pm - misc - by damnit - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (9135)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48142) - you deserved it (7497)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

#12858268
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

#12835808
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (5781)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by ugly - United States

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (14404)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML

#12802001
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (1923)

On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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