About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (30119)
On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (21137)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had a surprise for me and to meet up with him to find out. The big surprise was a consultation with a plastic surgeon for rhinoplasty surgery. I never disliked my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18981) - you deserved it (1552)
On 09/11/2010 at 4:46pm - misc - by damnit - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (7588)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42883) - you deserved it (6018)
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22859) - you deserved it (2942)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (4520)
On 08/31/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by ugly - United States
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (11291)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (1547)
On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my grandmother died. No one called me to let me know she passed. I found out because people kept writing RIP on her Facebook wall. My siblings and I weren't even mentioned in her obituary with the other grandchildren, but they did remember to mention her dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (1547)
On 08/29/2010 at 7:29am - animals - by katta2009 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned to never shave your downstairs when you have the hiccups. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14957) - you deserved it (19148)
On 08/29/2010 at 1:02am - health - by yggiz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (9660)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (5382)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (37524)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15006) - you deserved it (44123)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
