About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (6137)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34797) - you deserved it (3524)
On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (26877)
On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)
Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20511) - you deserved it (1639)
On 10/18/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (6360)
On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28821) - you deserved it (3917)
On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26761) - you deserved it (2319)
On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59536) - you deserved it (6011)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (3671)
On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (3671)
On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (3671)
On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37627) - you deserved it (3646)
On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21312) - you deserved it (3149)
On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12872) - you deserved it (30110)
On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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