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Offline (the 09/14/2016 at 4:54pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 31750
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Dun dun dun

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>gar2014</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 2:24am<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 12:09am<b>FoxOne</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 12:22pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 2:14pm<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 10:27am<b>sycrah</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 3:12am<b>grammarsnail</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 11:14pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:26pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 6:11am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:13pm<b>RectumRecker</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:34pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 10:40am<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:58am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 3:05pm<b>CBL88</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 9:56am<b>I_Like_Boobs</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 4:57am<b>__doge__</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:49am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 6:09am<b>sycrah</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 9:13am<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 6:19pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 8:53pm<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:06pm<b>KingHez</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:54pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:38pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:03pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:22am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 4:12pm<b>emisheah</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:23am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 10:22am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:29pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:48pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:24am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 3:05am<b>Zebracat</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 1:27am

Doortje's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2010 at 3:34am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

by serendipity1027 / 10/30/2010 at 9:40am / Love

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 7:48am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:30am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy