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Doortje

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Doortje
  • Town/Country : Tilburg, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 15904
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's last visitors

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Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43602) - you deserved it (16159)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (3721)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

#13716117
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9405) - you deserved it (29966)

On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53963) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (2420)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7093) - you deserved it (46898)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (7558)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (4369)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

#13588009
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11803) - you deserved it (33760)

On 10/25/2010 at 8:32am - misc - by tanya - Canada (Ontario)

Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML

#13496541
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24389) - you deserved it (2146)

On 10/18/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (7753)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (4924)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (19792)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30313) - you deserved it (2972)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65713) - you deserved it (7416)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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