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Doortje

Offline (the 01/03/2014 at 3:34pm) | Search for a member

Doortje

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 19074
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's page activity

Visits<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - yesterday at 1:09am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - yesterday at 6:01pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:41am<b>peanuty001</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:37pm<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm<b>fudgeeocookies</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>xSalashawty</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Kinky_Traceur</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:33am<b>ChaoticFoxen</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:45am<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 2:50am<b>notzax</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 6:16pm<b>artiststatement</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 10:29pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:53pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:33pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:08pm<b>Britney_Rushton</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:04am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 2:29pm

Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51343) - you deserved it (7009)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (23812)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6695) - you deserved it (55023)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (67981)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (2171)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (10267)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (4387)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (2404) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (2502)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13115) - you deserved it (23531)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (3869)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (8185)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13338) - you deserved it (54576) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (7412)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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