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About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Fingerprints everywhere
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3330) - you deserved it (14309) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8196) - you deserved it (1885)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7514) - you deserved it (1116)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (1315)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11758) - you deserved it (4611)
On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10872) - you deserved it (1292)
On 01/06/2012 at 11:16am - health - by Ixi_the_pixie - United States
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (2992) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16678) - you deserved it (14434)
On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24840) - you deserved it (6275)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19806) - you deserved it (21290)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mom died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12902) - you deserved it (31973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (22630)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7744) - you deserved it (40564)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (3441)
On 10/05/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by Hoggiebear - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (7977)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
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