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Doortje

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Doortje
  • Town/Country : Tilburg, The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 12718
  • Number of comments : 1885
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Doortje : Best cupcake ever.

Doortje's last visitors

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Doortje's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Doortje's badges

Doortje's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57695) - you deserved it (3539)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38119) - you deserved it (4755)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (5087)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (21632)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7842) - you deserved it (23922)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (4395)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5450) - you deserved it (15100)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4595) - you deserved it (38969)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11330) - you deserved it (47394)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31128) - you deserved it (1396)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24296) - you deserved it (7313)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (3665)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)



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