Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Doopliss01

Search for a member

Doopliss01
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 994
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Doopliss01's last visitors

OpIvy666adragonhunterdancerkatie95hollypocket98kj1114

Doopliss01's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Doopliss01's favorite FMLs

Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML

#13902847
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/19/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

#13798664
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (6920)

On 11/11/2010 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (4417)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7094) - you deserved it (46885)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19791)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19016) - you deserved it (5411)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (13767)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (42791)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45713) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

#12803211
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (6672)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (14245)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33253) - you deserved it (7508)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

#12426851
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (8348)

On 08/10/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by kylie - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: