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DontThumbMeDown

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DontThumbMeDown
  • Town/Country : Boring Massachusetts wish i was in Cali, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1134
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontThumbMeDown : DARYL MOTHERFUCKIN DIXON

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DontThumbMeDown's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

#19394272
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (1983)

On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (31052)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

#18309913
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (1914)

On 11/21/2011 at 6:26pm - love - by madison77 - United States

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

#18299655
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5623) - you deserved it (73094)

On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (11055)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (32189)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

#17796010
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31060) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53211) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

#17690152
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (12098)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)



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