About Dontthumbmedown
DARYL MOTHERFUCKIN DIXON
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  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

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  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • It's in the can!

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  • 50 favorites

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  • Judgmental

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  • The thumb strikes back

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    1%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

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    47%
  • A new thumb

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    88%
  • 50 quality comments

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    56%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    5%
  • YDI Master

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    3%
  • One more and it's business time

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Dontthumbmedown's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

By hé merde / Saturday 23 February 2013 02:27 / France - Paris

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 17 February 2013 05:56 / United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

By mydadsgonnakillme - / Friday 8 February 2013 07:13 / United States - Santa Barbara

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

By Target / Tuesday 12 February 2013 01:42 / United States

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 11 February 2013 15:26 / United States - Mansfield