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DontThumbMeDown

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DontThumbMeDown

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2090
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About DontThumbMeDown : DARYL MOTHERFUCKIN DIXON

DontThumbMeDown's page activity

Visits<b>Pikachu12</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 5:20am<b>cainightroad</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:49am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 2:14pm<b>RRRAAAAIIINNN</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 1:42am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 10:15pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm<b>buttery_nipples</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:37am<b>hexblot</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:04am<b>coolcat72</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 8:52pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 7:17pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 12:58am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:27pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 2:08pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 12:01pm<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 6:39am<b>xALEXx</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:11pm<b>ash2ash</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 11:08pm

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DontThumbMeDown's favorite FMLs

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53208) - you deserved it (4129)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (41742)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49843) - you deserved it (4698)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (74090)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML

#20622653
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41699) - you deserved it (8903)

On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81287) - you deserved it (4207)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32752) - you deserved it (112177)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (4460)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46301) - you deserved it (2893)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (13001) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60676) - you deserved it (20252)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50603) - you deserved it (10863)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (8398)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom



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