Donovan_757

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Donovan_757

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 December 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10078
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Donovan_757 : Currently in school majoring in Criminal Justice to become a cop. Just here to read about the fucked up lives being posted to get a laugh at.

Donovan_757's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 9:35pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 7:00pm<b>nanoinch</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 7:57pm<b>LilMissMad</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:45pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 7:35pm<b>SammyKins18</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 7:09pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 5:30am<b>bambi1989</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 1:12am<b>Gestpacho88</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 5:30pm<b>Incognito23</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 6:07am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 3:34am<b>Trish01</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 1:23am<b>need2sleep</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 12:15am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 11:44pm<b>forever_alone16</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 10:56pm<b>miwako</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 12:41am<b>Antonia583</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 5:45pm<b>scncman</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 9:50am

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Donovan_757's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

by nonbelieber / 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

by Username / 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

by dumping time / 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

by Whipped Cream / 11/24/2012 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous