About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend found the box of photos I've been saving for my daughter. He was convinced I was pining over her father and emptied the box into the dumpster behind our apartment. I'm still not done digging through the garbage to find the photos from the day my daughter was born. FML
by rummaging / 05/18/2016 at 9:46am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by centaursTesticle / 05/18/2016 at 8:34am / United States / Work
Today, I got a call from the head of my school dance committee saying that the dance was cancelled and the services originally hired were still expecting to be paid. The reason the dance got cancelled? One of the girls on the committee's parents wouldn't let her buy her dream dress. FML
by Depressed / 05/17/2016 at 7:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by LucyLollipop / 05/16/2016 at 3:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 11:48am / Love
Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 6:34am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Bloop / 05/13/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I got into a huge fight about his ex-fiancée, after I found out he's been confessing his love to her behind my back. Our fight ended with him yelling that yes, she's the love of his life, "But I still married you, didn't I?" FML
by JustTheWife / 05/12/2016 at 1:24pm / Denmark / Love
by MJensen / 05/10/2016 at 5:57pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy
Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2016 at 1:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I was so exhausted that I took a quick nap on the floor of my classroom during one of my free periods. I must have turned off the alarm I set, because I was gently woken up to the giggles of a whole class of students. To make matters worse, I was lying in a big puddle of my own drool. FML
by SorrowsReward / 05/06/2016 at 7:08am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
by Sunshinenwhiskey / 05/05/2016 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML
by shrek / 05/02/2016 at 6:25am / Australia / Work
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy