About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health
by notyourmummy / 11/12/2015 at 4:09am / United Kingdom (Isle of Wight) / Intimacy
by Its_Sinon / 11/12/2015 at 3:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SayItToMyFace / 11/11/2015 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom / Love
by burnbabyburn / 11/11/2015 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML
by misfitunfit / 11/10/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my parents talking about my husband. Apparently, they think he's a nice guy and all, but they don't really see him as "husband material." They think I would have been better off with my ex, who doesn't have a job and hurt me both physically and mentally. FML
by thanksforallyoursupportmomanddad / 11/10/2015 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I found out that my immediate supervisor had modified my phone in the priority order at our call center. As a result, any calls that came in during the night shift would be routed to my phone first, so that he can play games on his phone uninterrupted. It's been a whole year. FML
by YouBossturd / 11/10/2015 at 10:17am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
by lauziej93 / 11/10/2015 at 4:24am / Spain (La Rioja) / Work
Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML
by bianca131 / 11/09/2015 at 10:42pm / Australia / Intimacy
by desigirl / 11/09/2015 at 8:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 7:18pm / Netherlands / Love
Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2015 at 12:28am / United States (Delaware) / Love
Today, despite having my 5-day-leave approved 2 months ago, my boss demanded I return to work in the middle of it. Why? She wants to go on a vacation and no one else is available at such short notice. FML
by FMyJob / 11/06/2015 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work