About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom thought the best way to stop me from taking people to my room was by changing my wallpaper into a nursery-themed one. Now I get to see bunnies, letter blocks and teddy bears all day long. FML
by happiestturtle / 06/08/2016 at 11:21am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML
by toilet on the clock / 06/08/2016 at 6:40am / China (Guangdong) / Work
by malnourishedstudent / 06/08/2016 at 4:38am / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML
by CantWin / 06/07/2016 at 6:38pm / United States (Utah) / Geek
Today, I looked at the revenue from my Etsy shop. After hours and hours of hard work, I was ecstatic to find that I made about $560 so far. That is, until I remembered that it all went to my mom's bank account and I paid all the fees out of my own pocket. And yes, she won't give it back. FML
by shecrieseverytimeIremindher / 06/07/2016 at 6:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
by ginya / 06/06/2016 at 9:58pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
by Reeen / 06/03/2016 at 6:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/31/2016 at 12:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I looked in my voicemails on my phone. I recently got a message saying that I got the job, which was very exciting because it's my first job. Too bad it was sent 2 weeks ago and I just got it because I upgraded my phone. FML
by Dr_Awesome654 / 05/31/2016 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by tigerbyrn / 05/30/2016 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by halza / 05/30/2016 at 7:03am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Love
by Lexyy17 / 05/27/2016 at 10:43pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my bank refused to replace the debit card that I lost because, to prove I was the owner, I had to tell them about my last purchase and I couldn't remember it. I showed them my ID, and that could have worked, had they not misspelt my name on the account. FML
by KaylaRox1908 / 05/27/2016 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
- Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during… Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn… Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side"…