DonULFonso

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DonULFonso

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Ulm, Germany
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 December 1969 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17187
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...

DonULFonso's page activity

Visits<b>classicate</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:24am<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 2:05am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 8:08pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:42pm<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 4:34am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:55pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:55pm<b>thankssomuch</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:51pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:01pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:15am<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:54pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 10:28pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 8:10pm<b>melons</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:19pm<b>abbiek2</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 4:02am<b>DjeePee</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 1:21pm

Fucked!<b>classicate</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:36am<b>thankssomuch</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:51pm

DonULFonso's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

by FUCK THE PIGS / 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

by Ari / 01/16/2013 at 1:36am / Health

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

by finallyready / 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love