About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
by FUCK THE PIGS / 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML
by awkwardturtle / 01/25/2013 at 12:31am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
by chase / 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
by WTF / 01/16/2013 at 2:52am / Miscellaneous
by Ari / 01/16/2013 at 1:36am / Health
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
by finallyready / 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
by anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 5:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love