About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by soontobesingle / 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love
Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML
by Soph / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
by franky / 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Love
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
by seriously! / 03/19/2013 at 1:00am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML
by mcds2 / 03/18/2013 at 4:28am / United States / Love
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2013 at 7:32pm / Ireland / Kids
by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love
by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids
by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by itsnotyouitsher / 03/09/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
by marriage/celibacy/synonymity / 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy