Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

DonULFonso

Online | Search for a member

DonULFonso

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 January 1970 (45 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11996
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...

DonULFonso's page activity

Visits<b>vlalam</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:55pm<b>thankssomuch</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:51pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:01pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:15am<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:54pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 10:28pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 8:10pm<b>melons</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:19pm<b>abbiek2</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 4:02am<b>DjeePee</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 1:21pm<b>kingofswedes</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 6:29pm<b>BreeannHatesYou</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 5:02pm<b>miura</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 10:28am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 3:09pm<b>CyborgBanana</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 12:55pm<b>dmblonde</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 3:39pm

Liked!<b>thankssomuch</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:51pm

DonULFonso's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of DonULFonso's badges

DonULFonso's favorite FMLs

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12595) - you deserved it (43880)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41262) - you deserved it (2115)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24705) - you deserved it (38675)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (3781)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15711) - you deserved it (53511)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22037) - you deserved it (11630)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

#17620936
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (3514)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:45pm - kids - by bunkbed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35839) - you deserved it (3461)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12166) - you deserved it (52720)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

#17609148
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10618) - you deserved it (44529)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States

Today, while paying for groceries, I opened my wallet to find that all my cash had been exchanged for Monopoly money. FML

#17598415
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33791) - you deserved it (2810)

On 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm - money - by KayDayParade - United States

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

#17589852
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (3791)

On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (4150)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

#17549982
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (3934)

On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: