About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
by manderz? / 08/02/2016 at 8:18pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I got punched in the face after I beat my stepbrother at Mario Kart. I didn't really get hurt, but he managed to break a finger. My stepmom blamed the whole thing on me, accusing me of being violent and a bad influence on her son. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2016 at 10:19am / Miscellaneous
by crazyattracts / 07/31/2016 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Love
Today, on a girls night out at a very fancy restaurant, our waiter spilled my chocolate dessert over my new white pants. To repay up, they gave us a free bottle of red wine, which he promptly coated me in. FML
by Hutchie931 / 07/30/2016 at 7:24pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are looking at places to stay to meet for the first time. I figured renting a small vacation apartment would be ideal because he's not able to help pay because he isn't working and I'm not rich. He's telling me he can only be comfortable in 4 star hotels. FML
by Broke / 07/27/2016 at 12:38pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML
by NoDocVisit / 07/26/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Uh_Oh_Bro / 07/24/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML
by NotTheMomma / 07/22/2016 at 10:06am / Intimacy
Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML
by Foreveralone / 07/22/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML
by Chocolaty / 07/21/2016 at 8:48pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Looking4ajob / 07/18/2016 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
- Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…