About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 11:48am / Love
Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 6:34am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Bloop / 05/13/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I got into a huge fight about his ex-fiancée, after I found out he's been confessing his love to her behind my back. Our fight ended with him yelling that yes, she's the love of his life, "But I still married you, didn't I?" FML
by JustTheWife / 05/12/2016 at 1:24pm / Denmark / Love
by MJensen / 05/10/2016 at 5:57pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
by JustMarried / 05/07/2016 at 5:47pm / Ukraine / Intimacy
Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2016 at 1:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I was so exhausted that I took a quick nap on the floor of my classroom during one of my free periods. I must have turned off the alarm I set, because I was gently woken up to the giggles of a whole class of students. To make matters worse, I was lying in a big puddle of my own drool. FML
by SorrowsReward / 05/06/2016 at 7:08am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
by Sunshinenwhiskey / 05/05/2016 at 11:10am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML
by shrek / 05/02/2016 at 6:25am / Australia / Work
Today, my boyfriend keeps requesting that I make eye contact when I give him blowjobs. He won't let up about it. I don't know how to break it to him that his penis is too small for me to suck and look upward at the same time. FML
by oh gee / 05/02/2016 at 1:01am / Intimacy
by ShouldICallYouDaddy / 04/30/2016 at 7:49am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, my ex-best friend, who I haven't spoken to in a year because of how obsessive she got, posted a picture of herself with dyed brown hair and glasses. We look like twins. Even I thought it was me. Some people are commenting that I look beautiful. School starts tomorrow. FML
by exiebestie / 04/25/2016 at 9:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by tired waitress / 04/25/2016 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I finally got to meet the new Director of my department. She was my intern eight years ago, the one I declined to recommend for a full time position due to interpersonal conflicts. She knows. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Work