About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
DonULFonso's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
by shanannygians07 / 01/26/2014 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML
by heartbrokenhaley / 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML
by FacebookStrikesAgain / 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm / Puerto Rico / Love
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by fuckmuppeter512 / 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML
by thanks.... / 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by thejanamonster / 12/30/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by hot_friend / 12/19/2013 at 1:13am / United States / Love
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
by bf / 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML
by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
by NRFTW / 12/17/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…