DonULFonso

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DonULFonso

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Ulm, Germany
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 13 December 1969 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17235
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...

DonULFonso's page activity

Visits<b>classicate</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 1:24am<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 2:05am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 8:08pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:42pm<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 4:34am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:55pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:55pm<b>thankssomuch</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:51pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 6:01pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 12:15am<b>nygiantsfan85</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 3:54pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 10:28pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 8:10pm<b>melons</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:47am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:19pm<b>abbiek2</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 4:02am<b>DjeePee</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 1:21pm

Fucked!<b>classicate</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 7:36am<b>thankssomuch</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:51pm

DonULFonso's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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DonULFonso's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

by hoolagirl4422 / 09/20/2013 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

by jhughes1997 / 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

by Anoymous / 06/09/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm / Senegal / Miscellaneous

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML

by wtf mom / 05/31/2013 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous