About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML
by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
by Zekrome / 05/05/2014 at 3:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML
by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by gircos / 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
by loserman / 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
by cricha4208 / 04/15/2014 at 10:01am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML
by all by myself / 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous
by heartmytrucker / 04/14/2014 at 5:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…