About DonULFonso : The first 40 years of growing up were the hardest - since then it's a bit easier ;) ...
DonULFonso's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
DonULFonso's favorite FMLs
Today, there's a new freshman at my school that looks exactly like me. Whenever we see her, my friends shout "Twinzies!" I don't have anything against her, but I'm bummed because I'm a male senior. FML
by twinzies / 02/19/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I saw a woman in her late thirties pull out some hair and put it in her food, then threaten to sue me and the restaurant. She also told me no one would believe me, a teenager, when I told her I saw her put it there. FML
by jesuscrip / 02/18/2016 at 1:08am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, after interviewing for a promotion to a position that was created with me in mind, I eagerly accepted a call from my boss, expecting good news. Turns out, they found a better applicant, who they don't believe will need support from the position I currently hold, so it's being eliminated. FML
by anon_smh / 02/17/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Montana) / Work
Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML
by That_Teenager_ / 02/17/2016 at 9:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
by Confuseddad / 02/16/2016 at 5:17pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 3:37pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML
by marriedbutlonely / 02/14/2016 at 9:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by hannieannie / 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, just signed a lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 1:28am / United States (Utah) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 9:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML
by Alex / 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous