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Dog_Punter

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Dog_Punter

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  • Number of visits : 358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dog_Punter's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Dog_Punter's badges

Dog_Punter's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

#19875784
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7490) - you deserved it (23975)

On 07/01/2012 at 11:59am - animals - by mommabuser -

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

#19856741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20998) - you deserved it (2588)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by fired (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (5790)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (2156)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19796) - you deserved it (4564)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (1914)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

#19595631
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16259) - you deserved it (29622) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by Mouhahaa (man) - France

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35571) - you deserved it (2289) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (2423)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

#19409453
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8006) - you deserved it (18375)

On 04/04/2012 at 10:50pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

#19366084
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (1516)

On 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by deadgrass (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (11867)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)



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