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Dog_punter's FML badges
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    4%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    1%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    0%
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Dog_punter's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

By BadAssBandit897 - / Saturday 23 February 2013 13:46 / Canada

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 17 February 2013 05:56 / United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

By SF49 / Wednesday 16 January 2013 18:26 / United States

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 21 January 2013 12:48 / United States - Baltimore

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 17 January 2013 17:15 / United States - Savage