Dog_Punter

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Dog_Punter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 945
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Dog_Punter's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Dog_Punter's badges

Dog_Punter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love

Today, I'm at work as a security guard. At a morgue. Why am I here? FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2010 at 10:04pm / United States / Work

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML

by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

by nk / 11/03/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 9:42am / Reserved / Work

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

by ellinor / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

by hmb / 09/16/2010 at 2:50pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

by gatorhead / 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

by Lozza111 / 08/28/2010 at 1:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

by L.Lime05 / 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

by Monkey / 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I had an interview. I didn't get the job because apparently customers might not understand me, since I "talk too good." I just graduated with an English degree. FML

by alejandro38 / 07/11/2010 at 10:44am / United States (New York) / Work