About DobbytheElf : Now that Dobby's a free Elf, he loves going on FML!
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DobbytheElf's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML
by Unappreciated Grandchild / 11/06/2012 at 2:59am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
by hakuna matata / 10/31/2012 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
by monkeylover996 / 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm / United States / Health
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
by wtactualfuck :( / 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm / United States / Love
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by nickw177 / 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by fucking fratricidal / 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…