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About DncrHap : i'm a twenty-year-old college student studying to write fiction for young adults.
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Today, I quit my job and sent a mass mail on Facebook that I was moving to a different state with my long time boyfriend. He called me later that night to tell me we aren't moving after all. Now we are both jobless with loads of bills to pay by the end of the month. FML
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML
Tuesday 22 July 2014